UPDATE!!!!!
Saturday, 20 August 2011
Saturday, 13 August 2011
Thursday, 11 August 2011
Wednesday, 10 August 2011
Monday, 8 August 2011
Friday, 5 August 2011
Acrostic message for Metro
For the second time this week, Metro trains has failed dismally at delivering a service.
Usually I would mutter under my breathe and deal with it. This time it really annoyed me,
considering that I left work at 3:40 and got to the city at 5:55, I think I am taking it calmly.
Knowing how long it took me to get home is important to this story.
Yesterday's post ruminated on their terrible trains, and stupid station messages, yet
once again, the train was late and sat outside Flinders Street for 15 minutes. Surely you
understand how I must be feeling.
Usually I would mutter under my breathe and deal with it. This time it really annoyed me,
considering that I left work at 3:40 and got to the city at 5:55, I think I am taking it calmly.
Knowing how long it took me to get home is important to this story.
Yesterday's post ruminated on their terrible trains, and stupid station messages, yet
once again, the train was late and sat outside Flinders Street for 15 minutes. Surely you
understand how I must be feeling.
Melbourne is a sprawling city with a relatively low population. With its changing weather
eventually things may go wrong. However, it seems as though when it rains, the city stops.
This is ridiculous. Surely Melbourne public transport can cope with a little wet weather?
eventually things may go wrong. However, it seems as though when it rains, the city stops.
This is ridiculous. Surely Melbourne public transport can cope with a little wet weather?
Repeated delays and confusion amongst staff is common and sadly, a frequent occurrence.
One can only wonder: "Could it get any worse"
One can only wonder: "Could it get any worse"
Thursday, 4 August 2011
Is Metro worse than Connex? Is this even possible?
This morning Metro trains reached a new low in crapulent service. The 7:01 Sydenham train was a vibrating hellhole of slowness, teeth shaking and rattling slowitude. If the train was stationary (which it frequently was, but more on that later…) it would find its’ resonating frequency and vibrate at such a pitch that my teeth began to hurt. I had to lean forward in my seat to limit the amount of physical contact that I had with the train to prevent myself from being shaken of my seat. Every stop, every station was a teeth-shaking, brain-rattling excruciating nightmare. Evenually I decided to stand in an otherwise empty train carriage to stop myself from being shaken to death.
That however, was the least of my worries. The train pulled up to Sunshine station and then decided to sit there and continue to sit there. For around 5 minutes, with each second increasing the vibrating of the train, the train continued to sit motionless, apart obviously, from the shaking. Eventually the windows started making a high-pitched whine, and I could hear the screws in the train shaking loose. The train just sat there…shaking. No announcements from the driver as to why. Just as I was about to start screaming because the coffee in my stomach was about to become a milkshake, the train started to move. “Hooray”, I thought, “At last”. The driver was just playing a game with me, as it rolled forward about 50 metres and then stopped again briefly, then rolled ever so slowly, at about 2 km/h. The crawling pace did little to alleviate the vibrating I was experiencing.
Eventually the train rolled to a stop again and a V-Line train thundered past as though it was demonstrating what a real train was capable of. As the train moved forward again I thought that the slow pace and stopping was over. Sadly, I was mistaken. For the next two stops, the train dragged its heels and stopped for a few seconds here and there. I looked at my phone to check the time and realised that I was now around 10 minutes late, that I had less than 10 minutes to catch the connecting bus that runs every half hour in order to get to work on time. The wait to get to my station was torturous in that not only did I have to worry about getting to work on time; I had to consider whether or not I was going to throw up or die from the vibrations.
The train rolled into Keilor Downs station the same time that the bus was meant to arrive. I had to sprint to the stop to make sure I caught it as the bus pulled up to the stop just as I was getting off the train. Thankfully, the bus was late otherwise I would have been 40 minutes late for work. During the whole 20 minutes that it took to travel 4 stops, the driver made no announcements as to why it was sitting there. He never once “apologised for the inconvenience” that Connex managed to do with disturbing frequency.
Stupid platform announcements at Flinders Street station
One of my pet peeves is the freaky, scary “safety” announcements that they have at Flinders Street station. “Attention please, customers this is an important safety announcement” they begin. I at first thought he was about to say “run for your lives, there is a big fucking bomb about to go off” but no, he tells us not to “run on the platforms”. Most people wouldn’t need to run if the fucking trains ran on time, you dicks.
Recently they have invested money on putting bright yellow stickers on the handrails of the escalators on all the platforms. Important safety messages like “Hold onto the Handrail; Exit escalator promptly", and "Keep Left” are in bold, black letters that make the escalators look like they are covered in police crime-scene tape. I don’t know what makes me sadder, the fact that people are so unaware that they needed to be reminded to get off the escalator and to make room for other people to get by, or that it has become such a problem that they needed to spend thousands of dollars to try and reduce it.
Connex trains were so late, so often that “Connex apologises for the inconvenience” was often greeted with a sarcastic cheer from passengers. Metro doesn’t apologise for anything. They will tell you not to run, but they won’t tell you if a train is going to be a couple of hours late. Arseclowns,
That however, was the least of my worries. The train pulled up to Sunshine station and then decided to sit there and continue to sit there. For around 5 minutes, with each second increasing the vibrating of the train, the train continued to sit motionless, apart obviously, from the shaking. Eventually the windows started making a high-pitched whine, and I could hear the screws in the train shaking loose. The train just sat there…shaking. No announcements from the driver as to why. Just as I was about to start screaming because the coffee in my stomach was about to become a milkshake, the train started to move. “Hooray”, I thought, “At last”. The driver was just playing a game with me, as it rolled forward about 50 metres and then stopped again briefly, then rolled ever so slowly, at about 2 km/h. The crawling pace did little to alleviate the vibrating I was experiencing.
Eventually the train rolled to a stop again and a V-Line train thundered past as though it was demonstrating what a real train was capable of. As the train moved forward again I thought that the slow pace and stopping was over. Sadly, I was mistaken. For the next two stops, the train dragged its heels and stopped for a few seconds here and there. I looked at my phone to check the time and realised that I was now around 10 minutes late, that I had less than 10 minutes to catch the connecting bus that runs every half hour in order to get to work on time. The wait to get to my station was torturous in that not only did I have to worry about getting to work on time; I had to consider whether or not I was going to throw up or die from the vibrations.
The train rolled into Keilor Downs station the same time that the bus was meant to arrive. I had to sprint to the stop to make sure I caught it as the bus pulled up to the stop just as I was getting off the train. Thankfully, the bus was late otherwise I would have been 40 minutes late for work. During the whole 20 minutes that it took to travel 4 stops, the driver made no announcements as to why it was sitting there. He never once “apologised for the inconvenience” that Connex managed to do with disturbing frequency.
Stupid platform announcements at Flinders Street station
One of my pet peeves is the freaky, scary “safety” announcements that they have at Flinders Street station. “Attention please, customers this is an important safety announcement” they begin. I at first thought he was about to say “run for your lives, there is a big fucking bomb about to go off” but no, he tells us not to “run on the platforms”. Most people wouldn’t need to run if the fucking trains ran on time, you dicks.
Recently they have invested money on putting bright yellow stickers on the handrails of the escalators on all the platforms. Important safety messages like “Hold onto the Handrail; Exit escalator promptly", and "Keep Left” are in bold, black letters that make the escalators look like they are covered in police crime-scene tape. I don’t know what makes me sadder, the fact that people are so unaware that they needed to be reminded to get off the escalator and to make room for other people to get by, or that it has become such a problem that they needed to spend thousands of dollars to try and reduce it.
Connex trains were so late, so often that “Connex apologises for the inconvenience” was often greeted with a sarcastic cheer from passengers. Metro doesn’t apologise for anything. They will tell you not to run, but they won’t tell you if a train is going to be a couple of hours late. Arseclowns,
Tuesday, 2 August 2011
Colbert Report: Norwegian Muslish Gunman's Islam-Esque Atrocity
| The Colbert Report | Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| Norwegian Muslish Gunman's Islam-Esque Atrocity | ||||
Monday July 25, 2011 Just because Norway's confessed murderer is a blond, blue-eyed, Norwegian-born, anti-Muslim crusader doesn't mean he's not a swarthy, ululating madman.flashvars='autoPlay=false' allowscriptaccess='always' allownetworking='all' bgcolor='#000000'> | ||||
| ||||
Saturday, 30 July 2011
Cool Person Test
Were you cool when you were younger ?
Are you cool now?
Find out by taking the Cool Person Test
This test is based on how cool you were years ago.
What crowd you ran with, what car you drove, who you dated, etc.
It’s pretty accurate.
You may want to send it to your friends to see if they’ve changed.
To see if you’ve changed.
Click on Cool Person Test below.
Wednesday, 20 July 2011
Phone Hacking Scandal News Update of the Day:
What You Need To Know:
- Main Event: Rupert Murdoch and his son James testify before the Commons select committee on culture, media and sport; the Murdochs apologize to phone hacking victims in opening statement they weren’t allowed to read; Rupert Murdoch calls today “the most humble day of my career” (see video below), but refuses to accept responsibility for scandal; Murdoch says he “seldom” speaks with his editors, isn’t very involved, but has no plans to resign; News International’s legal fee aid to convicted phone hackers Clive Goodman and Glenn Mulcaire,alleged to be hush money, surprises James Murdoch; are Glenn Mulcaire’s legal fees still being paid? Possibly; James Murdoch admits paying to settle out of court with phone hacking victim Gordon Taylor, stands by his decision; Rupert Murdoch says PM Cameron invited him to Downing Street to thank him after election, asked him to use back door.
- From Rebekah Brooks’ testimony: The former News of the World editor and News International chief executive “clarified” her 2003 statement on having “paid the police for information,” saying she never “knowingly” sanctioned payments to police for information, but “was referring to various crime editors on Fleet Street discussing payments to police officers”; claims to have had no knowledge of Milly Dowler phone hack until two weeks ago (despite strong evidence suggesting otherwise); said the use of private investigators was/is widespread in the British newspaper industry.
- From earlier testimonies: Former Metropolitan Police commissioner Paul Stephenson: “Damnably unlucky” that former News of the World executive editor Neil Wallis worked for spa; former Metropolitan Police assistant commissioner John Yates: received “categorical assurances” on potential embarrassments before hiring Wallis. (The Guardian reported today that, according to a Tory Party statement, Wallis provided “informal advice” to PM Cameron’s former communications director Andy Coulson prior to last year’s election.)
Further Reading:
- Elsewhere: A misrepresentation of a passage from CNN host Piers Morgan’s book The Insider by Conservative MP Louise Mensch during Brooks’ testimony suggests that Morgan admitted to phone hacking; Morgan took to Twitter to blast Mensch: “She clearly hasn’t read my book.”
- #humblepie: Rupert Murdoch gets a face full of shaving foam during his testimony, courtesy of "comedian" Jonnie Marbles; James Wolcott is not amused: “this guy has made Murdoch senior look vulnerable and sympathetic and Wendi heroic. Well done, fool“; Related: Wendi Deng’s Five Best Enraged Expressions.
- Counter-Hacking: LulzSec: We have a large cache of News Corp. emails, will be releasing them tomorrow; Sabu: “New York Times, Forbes, LA Times, we’re going in“; how LulzSec hacked The Sun‘s website.
- Misc: Interactive Infographic: Phone-hacking scandal: Who’s who;Mad Magazine: Rupert Murdoch’s Apology Letter.
Tuesday, 19 July 2011
Sunday, 17 July 2011
Saturday, 16 July 2011
Tuesday, 28 June 2011
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