Saturday 14 August 2010

Ferris Club



A couple of weeks ago, I was at a bar with some friends and I posited the theory that in Ferris Buellers Day Off, Cameron was imagining Ferris, like Tyler in Fight Club. I was derided and ridiculed. So I kept my idea to myself and didn't develop it any further.


Then I found this article dated almost a year earlier...

Supermarket Moonwalk


?????

funny gifs - Is your gardener a Malamute?
see more Señor Gif

100 Greatest Movie Insults of All Time



Harry Hanrahan edited this video packed with 100 vicious insults from movies. At the link, you can view a list of the featured films (warning: self-starting sound).

Content warning: foul language.

[via]

Arseclown of the Week: Louisa Hearn

There are several things that give me the irrits, mostly little things such as Ed Hardy clothes or leggings as pants. There are a few things that get me irascible or grumpy; people standing on escalators blocking me from walking up; bad cover versions of classic songs that I like. Finally, there are some things that get me into a blind, seething, ranting rage; ABBA songs; honking at people in cars giving way to pedestrians; Right-Wing Religious Fundamentalists using their twisted moral compasses to impose a restriction on my civil liberties or as an excuse to discriminate and restrict another groups freedoms.

Adjacent to that is neo-Luddite know-nuffin Technophobes that occasionally rear their heads from their Newspapers and come up with some Arseclownery such as the following article copypasted and attributed to Louisa Hearn On August 13, 2010: Digital drug peddlers target teens with iDoses. “Spaced-out adolescents in headphones litter YouTube, some panting and others wincing as they listen to droning, pulsating soundtracks known as iDoses. They have fallen victim to an insidious new digital drug culture that preys on vulnerable young teens with money to burn. With nothing but an mp3 player and an internet account they can legally download 'binaural' audio downloads that claim to deliver a “high” that can mimic drugs like LSD and Crystal Meth.”

Oh noes! The interwebz googletubes is coming for your children and will be injecting them with MP3’s! Fucking Bullcrap! While I don’t deny the science of Auditory Disorientation, it really can’t send you into an altered state of consciousness reminiscent of a drug-induced stupor. Music can and does have an effect on people. Songs can make you happy or sad. There are songs that make you wanna get up and dance. ABBA songs make me violent and nauseous. Musicians and Audio Engineers have been using the concept for ages now. George Martin and the Beatles’ early experiments with stereo placed the drums and bass on the left channel and guitars and backing vocals on the right with the vocals in the middle. Phillip Glass, Sonic Youth and lame-arsed New Age ambient fuck-knuckles have made careers out of it.

This article is nothing but a load of steaming crap. It’s copypasted from a news report from Oklahoma or Ohio or somewhere in America that was ridiculed from July 20 in Geekologie. The story is a beat up lie-filled piece of conjecture and fabrication based on the premise that if you scare the parents enough they will buy the products you advertise.

Seriously, WTF? Kids listening to music will get stoned? Wouldn’t it be easier and cheaper, to get stoned and listen to music? At $199 a hit what’s the fucking point? And that’s assuming that it works the way it’s claimed to work –AND IT DOESN”T. The brain detects 2 different frequencies, and is disoriented because the bones in the ears that control balance are vibrating differently giving the sensation of spinning or tumbling. It may hurt or feel weird but you are not going to get high. Ever.

Next Arseclown of the Week, Louisa Hearn rambles on like this: “National and NSW education officials say they have not yet seen any reports of school children downloading “digital drugs” in Australia, but drug abuse experts say it is only a matter of time before the craze catches on here.” It’s only a matter of time before someone reads about it in a fucking major newspaper!!!! If it’s a problem, keep it quiet, you idiot.

So, either it’s not a problem worth worrying about, or you actually don’t care what happens to the kids who find out about this. Bitch. Then she goes on and says this: “Historically the droning binaural beats based on alpha and delta waves have been used to support some meditation and relaxation activities - but the scientific consensus seems to be that they simply impact your mood in the same way relaxing music might.” So it’s fucking Easy listening, New Age Ambient shit like Yanni and Vangelis and Mike Oldfield we should outlaw then, is it? God, she’s so fucking stupid.

She then dribbles on about it having absolutely no effect on anyone and quotes a couple of scientists to prove it. Hang on. She admits it’s bullshit, has proof it’s bullshit, has a link to a Washington Post article deriding it as bullshit, and yet feels the need to write an hysterical article warning people of the dangers of it. Make up your small pathetic little mind, will you.

She then decides to finish her story with this quote: "Music has been used in that way as well – there were all those claims about rock 'n roll in [the] 1950s (sic) and there is an element of that fear about the new sounds around today”. Hooray. She’s linking herself with the KKK and other Arseclown that burnt Elvis records in the 50’s because it was the “Devil’s Music” or it could make a white person and black person want to mingle. Arseclown. Let’s scare the parents into thinking that whenever they see their kids with headphones on, that they’re trying to get stoned. Great. That will help, won’t it? I’m surprised that Ms. Hearn didn’t link this with a need for an Internet filter to stop the kiddies from getting access to the dangerous sounds.

This is your typical knee-jerk moral panic from old fashioned, obsolete knobwits with no concept of what’s going on in the real world. I for one, would like to see more teenagers lying down, putting on their headphones and relaxing for a few minutes. Wouldn’t that be nice for a change.

Here’s a link to the iDose website.

Tuesday 10 August 2010

It's Great To Be Alive



There are many ways to teach children to be careful and avoid danger.
One of them involves a strong dose of fear.


[via]

Comments made during Tony Abbott interview on 7:30 Report

On seeing Abbott's response to questions about Broadband Peak Speed.
"Do you think a little bit of wee seeped out then?"

On seeing Tony Abbott try and explain that 2.5% of schools finding faults with the Schools Funding.
"Um Tony, I don't know about you, but if a student of mine got 2.5% of their answers wrong, then they got 97.5% right. Which is an A+."

"The man is a dickhead" Actually, the last one was from pretty much anyone who can think.

http://www.abc.net.au/7.30/

Get your God out of my life.

Many people around the world believe in some sort of deity. Many in this country, including people I would call friends, believe in God and Jesus, either Catholic, Baptist, Methodist, Presbyterians or Anglican (that I know of). Others I know believe in Allah and Mohammad, others are Buddhists and I have some Jewish friends, a Taoist and several that would call themselves agnostics, others atheists. My views? They are a little strange, but I prefer to keep them to myself.

I don't think it's anyone else's business. I certainly don't go around insisting people believe what I believe, act the way I act, enjoy the books, films or music I like or dress to my approval. I may make fun of you if you don't, but in a gentle, lighthearted manner. Unless you wear Ed Hardy or leggings as pants - then you are a fucking idiot and should not be allowed out in public.

Our potential Prime Minister, Tony Abbott has come out and said that bible study and Christianity should be taught in schools. "I think it would be impossible to have a good general education without at least some serious familiarity with the Bible and with the teachings of Christianity." Fine. It is right now. At private schools where parents send their kids for a religious education. But in public schools? No.

Lets make sure that they also have a grounding in all the major religions then. And some of the smaller ones too. And atheism to balance out that education. Lets make sure that Science, Maths, History, Languages and most importantly Media is compulsory before that.

One thing that makes this country so freaking awesome to live in is that we do not have a religion force upon us by the government. We are free to choose, or not to as we see fit. The last thing we want is a government telling us what to do on moral or religious grounds, like say Iran or the Taliban for example. Apparently all the right wingers have problems with people acting like them, so they act like them to stop them from acting like they do. In the end the Westboro FUCKWITS are more religious than anyone else.

If you worship your God. Great. All the more power to you. Please keep it to yourselves or at the most your children. Stop telling me that what I watch is wrong. That my 15 years living with my girlfriend without being married is a sin, that oh fuck it. Just stop interfering with other peoples lives based on morals. Morals are personal and I'm pretty sure you don't want me to be the worlds moral arbiter as much as I don't want Tony Abbott being mine.

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/national/all-kids-must-read-the-bible-federal-opposition-leader-tony-abbott-says/story-e6frf7l6-1225811885777

Lando Calrissian is The BlackStar Warrior

Sunday 8 August 2010

Markets of Britain

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By Peter Serafinowicz & Robert Popper see their blog at robertpopper.com

No Minister: 90% of web snoop document censored to stop 'premature unnecessary debate'

http://www.theage.com.au/technology/technology-news/no-minister-90-of-web-snoop-document-censored-to-stop--premature-unnecessary-debate-20100722-10mxo.html

The federal government has censored approximately 90 per cent of a secret document outlining its controversial plans to snoop on Australians' web surfing, obtained under freedom of information (FoI) laws, out of fear the document could cause "premature unnecessary debate".

Consequences & Philoceraptor

Do not Refund the Trolls

Paul XXX is flabbergasted at his tax return... and then realised that he didn't work completely full-time last financial year. Hello heaps of money!

Nigel XXXXX As a teacher, you are entitled to the low income rebate. LOW INCOME rebate. Low. Income. This means we don't get paid much. Fuck all really, considering the importance of our job, the hours we work, the responsibility we carry, the degrees we require and the shit we go through to do it. One more time: LOW INCOME REBATE. Feel better now?

Kylie XXXXX nice! Im hoping im the same since i was on mat leave for some of it!

Itsas Ecret Nigel, you could say that about a lot of professions. Although I must say your statement is misleading:
The Low Income Tax Offset (LITO) is a tax rebate for individuals on lower incomes. From 1 July 2009 it provides individuals earning l...ess than $30,000 with a tax rebate of $1,350. The full offset is reduced by 4c for every dollar of taxable income above $30,000, meaning incomes greater than $63,750 do not receive any benefit.[4] The LITO creates an effective tax-free threshold of $15,000 for low income earners.
This means even people on what are considered reasonable/average incomes would receive at least a partial rebate.

Nigel XXXXX Thanks Itsas (if that is your real name) you have managed to interpret the letter, but not spirit of what I am saying. Teachers get paid very little for what they do. I would prefer not to have the low-income rebate, I would like to think t...hat my job is regarded highly enough that the remuneration would reflect that.
My statement is misleading, deliberately so. It's on a wall on Facebook

Itsas Ecret Hi Nigel, I I think it's possible to be factual but also make your point at the same time.

Nigel XXXXX Which bit is not factual? The (comparatively) low wages part or the shit we go through part? Perhaps you would prefer that teachers worked voluntarily? Now THAT's misleading and making my point simultaneously :)

Itsas Ecret What I'm saying is you don't need to mislead people to make a point. If your view is valid, then there is no need to do so. Although I am curious, how much do you think teachers should be paid?

Nigel XXXXX Again, can you refer me to the specifically misleading part? I am eligible for the Low Income rebate; I am responsible for the upbringing of juveniles and planning, creating, writing and assessing their education and suitability to enter the workforce. I work a minimum 50 hours a week and have the equivalent of 2 degrees and must have a spotless police record. As to what I would like to be paid. I am unsure what is the equivalent rate of pay for a similarly qualified public servant, with equal responsibilities and the same amount of overtime? An unqualified producer at the ABC would get 75K per annum first year (although that would require different experience/qualifications)

Itsas Ecret The misleading part is that by stating that because teachers get the Low Income Rebate, this would suggest, without discussing the specifics of the rebate, that teachers are dirt poor. At any rate, you admit that your statement is delibera...tely misleading, and you intended it to be misleading, you said so yourself in the comment that you wrote to me.
You know yourself that while you work minimum 50 hours a week during the semester/terms, you also get periods where, while you still need to do some work (ie prepare for next years classes etc), it definitely does not equate to 50 hrs a week. How do I know you ask? Well both my mum and sister are both teachers, so I've got a pretty good idea of what's involved. Quoting that alone as justification is a weak argument, especially considering nearly everyone across all sectors are working longer and longer hours. While I don't denigrate teachers as a general rule, I could point to a million studies that show how well a student performs is ultimately down to cultural capital; what goes on at home and parent involvement. When I think about it, I don't even agree with primary school/high school as an institution, I think it is a horridly inefficient. Kids would be better off being home schooled one on one (assuming that whoever teaching them has half a brain).
Honestly I don't think it's the workload that's the stressful part of your job, it's the little arseholes that you effectively have to babysit, now THAT is stressful.
That aside, everybody wants to get paid more, and mostly everybody probably deserves it, apart from the fatcat executives. So while I don't disagree with you, I'm also inclined to say, join the queue, we are all underpaid and overworked!

Nigel XXXXX I teach 3 Media classes, English, Geography and Food Tech, not Economics, so it would be inappropriate to discuss the specifics of Income Tax Law, as I simply don't give a shit about legal waffle. I still stand by my original statement - As a teacher, you are entitled to the low income rebate. How that is interpreted is purely up to the reader. Without discussing the specifics I would have thought that this implies that teachers are poorly paid. As you say everybody wants to get paid more. I do feel however, that the qualifications, responsibilities and workloads of teachers are not remunerated in a comparable manner to other government (or private) employees. I took a pay cut to be a teacher. I am an awesome teacher. How long I decide to remain an awesome teacher, before I decide to become a crap teacher and just do the bare minimum for shit money is entirely unpredictable.

The statement where I claimed to be misleading is "Perhaps you would prefer that teachers worked voluntarily?" However, you chose to ignore that and then went on to write several hundred words of circular nonsense with no bearing or relation to the point of the argument. Your Mum and sisters are teachers. Awesome, mine are nurses; this does not give me an insight into treating road trauma cases. It does make me realise that they are underpaid.

My post was in response to Paul being happy that he got a big tax return. It was intended as a sarcastic bit of rib poking between work colleagues. I don't know you or your relationship to Paul, but I can spot a troll a mile away.

Itsas Ecret Name calling on facebook is very unbecoming, and I hope you don't add students to your facebook so that they may see first hand your conduct. I simply make the point that using the Low Income Rebate as evidence that teachers are low paid is misleading, considering a large majority of the population receives it on average salaries, at least in part. That is what I pointed out, and you seem to have reacted by flying off the handle. Strange.

Nigel XXXXX Do not feed the trolls.

12:36 Bad Dream Rant

It's 12:36 and I have been unable to get back to sleep after a bad dream. I've taken a Valerian and I'm writing this to help me get back to sleep...

After a particularly bad Sewing class, one in which the all girl class was not taking seriously (they paid no attention to my skills - I have none in real life) I had a bit of a rant at them, too which they also paid no attention. The schools' new principal was in the room, but I only ever saw her from behind, and I was trying to make sure I was doing well. I pushed the class to do some work, any work, but they would not. I then left the room and went to get changed for Homegroup (why?) I couldn't do the buttons up on my shirt properly and it took me ages to do them up and I wasn't looking very neat or tidy when I to homegroup. It wasn't my usual class, but there were a group of students being shown an explicit sex education video. Everyone in the class was talking amongst themselves and not paying any attention to the movie. I said to them "This is important, you need to know this." But they didn't care. I asked a group if they were going to watch, but they ignored me. I said to them "Aren't you planning on ever having sex?" They ignored me. The cl;ass ended and they all left. As I was walking out a paramedic offered me a lift in his helicopter home. I accepted. As we took off, I noticed that the graffiti that I had painted on the roof of a building was better and more easily seen than any the students had ever done..

While the helicopter flew,I looked out the window and thought that all the tiny houses below were sad and dirty and lonely and how the people living in them must feel the same. I noticed that there was a medical emergency in the back, which was obscured by a curtain. It was soon over and the paramedic offered me all the leftover medical equipment (a couple of first aid kits in black, vinyl bags). Suddenly the engine stopped and alarms went off and the pilot's wheel moved onto my lap, making it impossible to move. There was no pilot and I was in the co-pilots seat. We were going down, backwards and I was sitting cross legged in my seat and I couldn't move to get into a crash position or put on my seat belt.

As we went down, I thought about how much I love Amy and how I never got a chance to tell her again before I died., but I knew that she knew because I tell her several times a day. I could see the roof of houses and people in cars and then I woke up.

Then I wrote this.

Saturday 7 August 2010

All Of Chewbacca's Dialogue from Star Wars



Click to embiggen

In the beginning.

I was continuously and frequently posting links to facebook and ignoring my blog. My blog was intended to be a repository for all of my serious-minded Media Studies related links, stories, articles and stuff.

But, I was often posting silly pictures and strange links and status updates that were too short and not quite descriptive enough, so I decided to start this.

There is no theme or raison d'etre. It's just a bunch of stuff that happens.

Enjoy!